Past Tense

 "At 30 you finally start to catch up to those dreams you’ve been chasing for the last 10 plus years." Pada usia 30 an ni, aku dapat tamparan hebat dalam kehidupan. Allah ilhamkan berjuta juta idea dan pemikiran yang perlu di consider dalam perjalanan hidup sebagai hamba tuhan.  Semuanya bermula dari sebuah kereta. Well kaki F memang dah makin teruk, and we expect it to expire in 2 years time. So untuk menjadi bini yang solehah, aku terfikir untuk upgrade kereta manual dia tu jadi kereta auto sempena birthday beliau next year. Bila nak beli barang yang kena hutang lama ni, memang tabiat aku, aku akan risik sungguh sungguh apa minat tuan badan, kewangan dan segala aspek berkenaan kereta, and suddenly the train of thought tu sampai kan kehidupan kami 20 tahun akan datang. Aku jadi terfikirkan keazaman membara aku sejak kecil untuk memiliki sebuah klinik sendiri. Aku memang berhajat besar, dan keinginan tu memang aku dah tanam sejak aku sekolah lagi. Aku nak kerja sendiri. Reaso...

Well that's a good start! Since I started my online business, well being a dropshipper is a real deal too, (though it sounds like you are basically running others business but who cares? I got some profit as well and the golden experience from it before having my own line of products,) I started to get serious with my instagram account, and I have few of it actually. My real life page and the business page.   If you are an instagram user, you will get the idea why people start selling using instagram. It is basically a place where people look for cool pictures, and everyone loves pictures, added with some empowering captions and hashtags that are helpful to search for certain categories that you are interested in. it is a great place to introduce your product. And I did exactly that, selling my products through instagram, and became an instagram addict.  But it is actually so hard to get true followers except for those who follows you back after you follow...

Alhamdulillah bila dapat soalan macam ni, acik tak rasa sendu ataupun menyesal atau segala yang berkaitan dengan perasaan negatif tersebut, malah dengan bangganya acik akan cakap, RINDU!  rindu nak buat C-Section,  rindu adrenaline rush lari lari sampai semput/ jatuh tergolek,  rindu nak dengar suara babies crying out loud lepas dah lepas keluar dari perut ibu,  rindu staffs yang baik baik tu,  Tapi walaupun rindu tak semestinya acik mahukan itu semua dalam hidup ni dah. That was just one pit stop, serve as memory and considered as best experience in life. Alhamdulillah I am liking my new routine, which I live by heart now. Banyak benda acik boleh belajar, banyak benda acik boleh bagi tumpuan, terlalu banyak benda acik mampu resume lepas kerja. I am born to be a doctor, and I will be one, but that does not mean I can only be a doctor. I am also something elses I want to be. And by choosing this path, Alhamdulillah I can be all that I want to ...

Evaluating my life right now, and letting go of the thing I held on for almost 2 years. For whats worth. What are the important things to weigh? Family, Health especially for my husband, Children's Education, Money In my state of life right now, I cannot sustain family, health and children's education. Money is okey because of the work I am enduring now to get that. Am I happy? I am not. Why am I not happy? 1. Its too tiring, too demanding 2. This work consume all of me, and I have to still use myself for any other things that are very important in my life ie my husband and my kids well being 3. I am not happy as this is exactly not a kind of doctor I wanted to be. I realised that I survived this for this long because of the people along the journey. And the people slowly fading away, and it has taken a toll on me now. How am I going to survive for myself and for others if major of my life gives me headache? And something struck my head real hard, this a...

Kali ni raya biasa biasa je. Semangat raya hanya kerana anak anak and parents, sebab tahun ni alhamdulillah raya sebelah kemaman pulak, anddddd *drumrollll*  acik dapat cuti raya!  Makcik sangat gembira dan berterima kasih pada kawan kawan berlainan bangsa dan agama yang sanggup berkorban untuk kami. You ollss so sweet thank you so much friends!! First time sambut bulan Ramadhan as a bussiness woman, and it aint easy my friends. Siang memang makcik busy sesungguh kat hospital and actually I am not really comfortable to do bussiness matter di dalam waktu kerja. Kalau yang drop off barang atau yang makcik bawak ready stock tu lain cerita sebab tak perlu mengadap fon 24hours.  My actual job really needs me to focus you know, so kalau makcik lambat reply please jangan terasa atau bersangka yang tidak tidak, huhu. Memang sangat tough I donno how you guys can handle itttt. Especially when you are handling hot selling items seperti Bawal Arabella dePre...

Sebab aku perempuan, dan pesakit aku semua nya perempuan. Women only. Exclusive kan? Macam tulah Allah jaga aku, with His own ways. Heyy bukan senang aku nak cool je dengan tittle MO O&G ni. Makan dalam bertahun kot. Sobs. Dari student benci gila subjek O&G, sekarang amekau. Sobs lagi sekali. Being in this department wasn't my choice. Family person macam aku ni akan minta dijauhi dari O&G sumpah tak tipu, tapi nak wat acanerr aku insan terpilih. Lepas kena campak kat sini memang jatuh terduduk, tergolek, terdampar. Sampai sekarang masih cuba buang dendam pada dia yang campak aku kat lubang gelap ni walaupun sebenarnya dah agak agak boleh terima hakikat. Kalau terserempak dengan dia mesti akan terngiang ngiang ayat I resent you  Fuhh dia punya dendam tak hengat. Tak pernah aku berdendam macam ni seuumur hidup. Now slowly tengah buang dendam sebab dah boleh terima kenyataan, KOT. Kenapa aku tak suka/ separa benci pada O&G? Sebabnye ...