I had terrible night last night. Siangnya pon agak terible jugakla. Dengan suara garau and muka yang hitam, kepala pusing plus temperature of 38.5 I could barely move. Bedridden. Weehu. And what make it worse? LIPAS.
Had 2 scenes with lipas. First was, I found a freaking damn dead cockroach in my mihun tomyam. Imagine: I was like hungry to death and the cafe took like ages to deliver my food. Bila dah sampai I just dug in the food without doing the routine check. Suapan ke dua, I felt something strange about the tomyam. Rasa macam pelik. But keeps on eating cos LAPAR. On my 3rd suapan, I saw something weird floating on the spoon and as I took closer look, I screamed like it was no tomorrow. ADAKAH AKU TELAH MEMAKAN TOMYAM PERASA LIPAS? Omjayyyy!!!
Called the cafe and explained the situation to a worker. Dengan pelat indon and bahasa melayu yang kurang mantapnya itu, she kept on asking whether I still kept the lipas I found in her tomyam. Seriously I feel like shouting at her on her face. Cuba untuk sabar and she said that she would replace the tomyam. As if I will eat food from her cafe anymore. NEVER. Then when the worker came and sent me a brand new tomyam I showed him the lipas and his reaction was, "laa kecik saja". Hello mister, kecik ke besar ke itu lipas okay!
My second scene with lipas was at 3 am. No, it was not a nightmare or whatsoever. I mentioned before that my body temperature elevated so you could expect that I couldn't really sleep. Tidur tidur ayam. And on that time tetiba terajin pergi toilet. Not that I wanted to micturate or defecate but I want to wash my sticky burnt sweaty face. Guess what, as I entered the toilet I saw a lipas licking my toothpaste. Omjayyyyy lipas cyber suka ubat gigi!! Waaargghhh!! Mungkin lipas tu bercita cita jadi dentist that's why it has some curiosity on the taste of MY freaking toothpaste. Then bila nak keluar dengan selamba mak nenek dia je menumpang kat kaki ai. I screamed like crazy and at 3 am, you would expect what happened right? I think I heard someone up and swearing at me. I would do the same thing, surely did. Pukul 3 pagi kot tebiat apa jerit pepagi buta.
So enough with the bad words about lipas. Allah takkan sesaja cipta lipas tanpa sebab kan? So I did a research on the benefits of cockroach. Benefits? herghh. And I found this.
"Sesetengah tulisan terawal berkaitan dengan lipas menggalakkan ia digunakan sebagai ubat. Pedanius Dioscorides (1st century), Kamal al-Din al-Damiri dan Abu Hanifa ad-Dainuri (abad ke-9) semuanya menawarkan ubat yang mencadangkan ia digiling dengan minyak atau direbus. Senarai penyakit termasuk sakit telinga, luka dan "masaalah peranakan gynecological."[perlu rujukan]
Lipas turut menyumbang kepada industri pengawalan serangga perosak yang bernilai jutaan ringgit, tetapi masih gagal menghapuskan lipas sepenuhnya."
But still, reading this doesn't impress me enough wahai lipas. I will never ever ever like you. Never. Besides, who's going to eat lipas nowadays anyway?? Yucks!