Skip to main content

Quick post RAYD

Last Saturday I went to spend some time with the orphans at 
Rumah Anak Yatim Dengkil.
Seriously bila sampai sana afi rasa satu perasaan.
Tak tau cemana nak gambarkan perasaan tu tapi waktu tu out of blue terasa cam nak nangis.
Pastu rasa cam tak selesa and rasa cam nak kol mama babah pastu rasa cam nak lari balik rumah.
Waktu solat asar kat surau afi rasa sangatsangat tak tenang. 
But then after solat, afi rasa afi da tau cemana nak describe perasaan tu.
Perasaan yang takut KEHILANGAN.
Afi takut bila fikir that one day orang yang afi sayang pon akan pergi macam makayah dorang. Allah. Tak sanggup rasanya.

Sedih sesangat bila tengok bebudak tu.
Ekspresiekspresi dorang sangat unik. Susah nak nampak kat budakbudak biasa.
Mungkin keistimewaan tu ada sebab dorang da lalui macammacam kepahitan kesusahan and segala macam kesukaran sepanjang hidup dorang.
Ada adik umur 4 tahun tapi da jadi yatim piatu.
Terbayang plak Syafiqah waktu umur 4 tahun. Makan bersuap, mandi pon berteman. Pakai seluar pon perlu bantuan orang. Tapi dorang? Ustaz Syukry cakap dorang dilatih ntuk berdikari. Baju pon dorang cuci sniri. 
ya Allah, kuatnya mereka.

Afi terfikir apa agaknya perasaan dorang bila dapat result cemerlang tapi takde siapa yang akan share good news tu? Takde sape yang akan tunjuk muka bangga sambil pandang jiran and cakap dalam hati "hei anak aku dapat nombor satu". Then ada penyampaian hadiah pulak kat skolah, sape nak tangkap gamba dorang waktu amek hadiah? 
Sape nak sambut dorang waktu turun pentas after da amek hadiah  sambil cakap, "makayah bangga ngan kamu nak" 
Apa perasaan dorang bila tengok orang lain pegi skolah salam and cium makayah before masuk kelas?
Apa perasaan dorang bila kawankawan citecite pasal waktu bukak pose and main mercun samasama ngan makayah tapi dorang terpaksa bukak pose ngan saudara seumur yang kehilangan makayah jugak?
And waktu raya. Waktu orang lain salam peluk cium makayah. Pakai baju baru yang makayah pilih. Dapat duit raya dari makayah. Cemana dorang hadapi semua tu ek?  Allah. Kuatnya dorang.
Kuatnya mental dan fizikal budak umur 4 tahun tu berbanding afi yang da tua kerepot ni. isskk.
Ya Allah panjangkanlah umur kedua ibu bapaku. Amin.

Feeyah once said: Fatin, u can deal with bad news quite well but when it comes to ur parents, u will drop down and breathless.
Ye betul tu. And one more thing, I will go insane when someone who is always around me, teasing me, talking to me, is not in my sight anymore. Rasa cam tak lengkap dunia. Hilang melayang separuh jiwa. Oh.

Satu hikmah waktu afi pegi sana ialah Allah temukan afi ngan someone yang punya gaya sejibik macam feeyah. Cara cakap, cara mengusik, cara pandang, muka eksaited dia bila dia story something kat afi, semuanya la. SAMA. Terkeluar sket air mata bila dia peluk afi waktu salam ukhwah. Rasa cam doludolu waktu slalu kena peluk ngan feeyah. And this girl, dia cium afi macam feeyah cium afi. Mulamula agak tekujat gak cos family ngan feeyah je penah wat camtu. Terasa cam terisi balik separuh bahagian yang kosong tu. Alhamdulillah. Allahuakbar. Thank you Allah. 


Comments

Post a Comment

♥..Share it..♥

Popular posts from this blog

Using Instagram for your Online Business

Well that's a good start! Since I started my online business, well being a dropshipper is a real deal too, (though it sounds like you are basically running others business but who cares? I got some profit as well and the golden experience from it before having my own line of products,) I started to get serious with my instagram account, and I have few of it actually. My real life page and the business page.   If you are an instagram user, you will get the idea why people start selling using instagram. It is basically a place where people look for cool pictures, and everyone loves pictures, added with some empowering captions and hashtags that are helpful to search for certain categories that you are interested in. it is a great place to introduce your product. And I did exactly that, selling my products through instagram, and became an instagram addict.  But it is actually so hard to get true followers except for those who follows you back after you followed he

Al Fatihah MH17

Few months ago we were praying for MH370 and personally I am still praying that we will get some solid, valid and logical news about MH370. And now, my tear and condolences goes to the family of MH17 passengers and cabin crews. Allahurabbi. What is it with Malaysia nowadays? I am honestly freaking out. Sigh.  MH370 tragedy really hit me. Though I have no one to shed my tears for, I have no relatives (nauzubillah) no friends or no acquaintance at all on that plane, but my heart breaks every time I read the news about it. Allahu Allah. And when I went to KLIA few times during that disaster, I broke down when I saw few family members who were still there waiting for any news and hoping for their love one to come back. It was heartbreaking.  Recent catastrophe of  MH17 is really shocking. There were  video footage  of the scene and I could see dead bodies everywhere. They say no one survive the disaster but lets hope, lets just hope and pray that that is not true. Lets pray that a

Jadi Dropship? Tak Rindu Jadi Doktor Ke?

Alhamdulillah bila dapat soalan macam ni, acik tak rasa sendu ataupun menyesal atau segala yang berkaitan dengan perasaan negatif tersebut, malah dengan bangganya acik akan cakap, RINDU!  rindu nak buat C-Section,  rindu adrenaline rush lari lari sampai semput/ jatuh tergolek,  rindu nak dengar suara babies crying out loud lepas dah lepas keluar dari perut ibu,  rindu staffs yang baik baik tu,  Tapi walaupun rindu tak semestinya acik mahukan itu semua dalam hidup ni dah. That was just one pit stop, serve as memory and considered as best experience in life. Alhamdulillah I am liking my new routine, which I live by heart now. Banyak benda acik boleh belajar, banyak benda acik boleh bagi tumpuan, terlalu banyak benda acik mampu resume lepas kerja. I am born to be a doctor, and I will be one, but that does not mean I can only be a doctor. I am also something elses I want to be. And by choosing this path, Alhamdulillah I can be all that I want to be, tamak kan? hihi. But