- Trying hard to not be that low. But I guess I'm not strong enough to fight the pressure of being high instead of just being low.
- Sometimes I wonder what myself is in the eyes of others. Looks like I will never get that answer cos I am me not others.
- I expect people to understand my language, my signs, my moves, my doings but I guess no one will ever understand me better than myself or at least better than my parents did
- Strangers will forever be strangers no matter how close we are and family will never be family when they act like strangers to me
- Though its full of emotion, full of hatred, full of hardship but this is it. This is life
I wonder what had gotten into me before when I used to fight so strong just to be in this course. Babah agak tak suka saya amek course ni. Babah cakap, "You'll have no life." and "Once you step in that field, its equal to learn throughout ur whole life". Tapi saya yang dulu tak kesah ngan semua benda yang babah cakap. As long as he still supports me walaupun selalu cakap keburukan amek medic, I keep my head held high. Tak pandang belakang dah. I made my decision and that's it. No turning back. Tapi sekarang saya jadi keliru. Can I do this? Am I fit enough to be a good doctor? Can I diagnose correctly? Can I treat the patient the way I'm taught? Can I be like my lecturers who are super awesome? Can I? Bimbang. Keliru. Sometimes I feel like giving up. Rasa macam tak layak. Tengok semorang dah progress but me? Still kat takuk yang lama. Even worse, dah turun beberapa anak tangga. I tried to talk to my close friends abut this. But no help at all....
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