Skip to main content

..typical me.

First ramble.

Being me, I always strain myself from saying or doing whatever I want. Contohnya, dah lama ssaaaaangat teringin nak makan eskrim cokelat. Tapi bila sampai masa nak beli, tetiba terfikir eh eskrim cokelat boleh sebabkan migrain so better beli eskrim strawberry. Dan akhirnya eskrim strawberryla yang aku makan.
Kekadang rasa marah dengan diri sendiri, why can't I just do what I want? Sekali sekala apa salahnya kan? Bukannya mati pon makan eskrim cokelat tu.

Contoh kedua bila nak cakap something kat orang. Susah sangat nak luahkan betul betul apa yang aku rasa. Bila orang tanya A aku jawab B padahal dalam hati jawapan aku adalah C. Lagi lagi bila type message or skype or ym. Nak tulis I like you the way you are tetibe tertulis just be who you are. Lainkan tu maksud dia? Agaknya Brocha area aku ni bermasalah kot. Haish.

Ok. Nexxxxxttttt!

Circadian Cycle dah messed up. Jam 4.30 pagi baru boleh lelap. Terbangun solat subuh dengan kepala yang sangat miung pastu tidur sampailah jam oh malu nak cakap karang takde orang sudi buat menantu. Seriously? Diencaphalon pon bermasalah nampaknya. Haish. Tapi one thing yang best bila dapat stay up sampai pagi ialah, suasana tenang sejuk sejuk menggigit tulang tu lah yang masyuk bila study. Lagi masyuk kalau hujan renyai renyai, bertemankan sweater, bunyi kipas dan susu panas. Memang best. Kekadang bila dah dapat suasana macam tu perasaan membuak buak nak pinjam mesin menghentikan masa doraemon.

Nexxxxxxttt!

Sorry to say. Serespect mana pon aku terhadap kamu sebelum ni, semua perasaan tu hilang sejurus selepas kamu sendiri yang mengaku perihal solat kamu. Haish. Solat tu tiang. Kalau tiang tak kukuh, what do you expect from the roof, the wall and the whole structure of that building? Hancuss. Tulah lain kali jangan buat pengakuan berani mati dengan aku. Last last kamu jugak yang merana.

Nexxxxxxxtttt!

Tetibe rasa cam nak bela kucing meow putih yang gebu dan bulat.
Macam ni.

Nexxxxxxxxt!

Rindu kat "charger". Bizi sangat ke dia? Sobs. Takpelah. Tunggu sampai aku betul betul worn out then usaha mencari beliau akan dimantapkan dengan semantap mantapnya. Susah betul bila charger dah tak rupa charger. Asik bergerak kesana kemari. Haish.

Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Comments

Post a Comment

♥..Share it..♥

Popular posts from this blog

aku memang gedik!

Woha. I'm home and gosh super duper happy! Happier than pegi ice skating iteww. Puhleassse, 'itew'? WTH. Pi masuk tadika balik. Eja itu pon tak reti ke afi woi? Wakaka. Tadi waktu melangut dalam kereta segala macam jawapan soalan exam tetiba dengan sukarelanya mengeluarkan diri dari tempat persembunyian di antara celahan otak saya ini. Isk. Gedik mengada. Kenapa baru sekarang kau keluar? Pegila menyorok lagi!! Arghh. But on the bright side, at least I know that I KNOW what I am suppose to KNOW. So telan jela.  And you see while I was in the car, I signed in YM and guess what, terdapat seorang hamba Allah bernama M5 yang telah mencuba mengadd and menegur saya disitu. *sila maafkan ayat keling ini*. Our conversation went smooth pada permulaannya cos he acted like someone I know and we talked about something interesting which was good because I usually did that to confirm  the person adding me is a real HUMAN before I added him to my YM list.  But then he started to ...
16 comments
more ♫..

..It feels weird.

Perasaan pelik. Rasa happy but in the meantime rasa sedih waktu tengok gambar cousins aku yang berdua itu. We were so close when we were little girls tapi sekarang, masing masing dah ada hidup sendiri. Hala tuju sendiri. Semalam kak D kahwin. Gambar dah upload sikit kat facebook. Nak keluar air mata aku yang mentengok ni. Belum lagi mak long. Huish. Susah kan jadi mak? Jadi sila hargai ibu anda. Dan tadi jugak, sempat mengusha gambar kak S bertunang. Rasa macam ada rama rama dalam perut. Rasa macam nak jerit wah cantiknya kuat kuat and rasa cam nak cakap eee jelesnya. Motif? Heheh. So moral of the story is, semua dah besar panjang. Dah ada tanggungjawab masing masing. I hope everything about us won't change. How I wish adults don't have to create such barrier ya know. The barrier when they already have their own family and they seems to depart off from the big family. I hate that. Apa aku merepek ni? Ok tu je, assalamualaikum
14 comments
more ♫..

Saiko

I wonder what had gotten into me before when I used to fight so strong just to be in this course. Babah agak tak suka saya amek course ni. Babah cakap, "You'll have no life." and "Once you step in that field, its equal to learn throughout ur whole life". Tapi saya yang dulu tak kesah ngan semua benda yang babah cakap. As long as he still supports me walaupun selalu cakap keburukan amek medic, I keep my head held high. Tak pandang belakang dah. I made my decision and that's it. No turning back. Tapi sekarang saya jadi keliru. Can I do this? Am I fit enough to be a good doctor? Can I diagnose correctly? Can I treat the patient the way I'm taught? Can I be like my lecturers who are super awesome? Can I? Bimbang. Keliru. Sometimes I feel like giving up. Rasa macam tak layak. Tengok semorang dah progress but me? Still kat takuk yang lama. Even worse, dah turun beberapa anak tangga.  I tried to talk to my close friends abut this. But no help at all....
13 comments
more ♫..