Skip to main content

.. Miss him already.

Penat. Letih. Tapi mata tak boleh lelap. Tried hard to sleep tapi eyelid ni tak reti reti nak tutup rapaaaat rapaaaat dan mimpi yang indah indah. Bangun, keluar bilik. Terbau durian yang berjaya buat iman mama yang berpose goyah. "abam help me with the duriannnn" eh. Kenapa otak macam berdengung? Tetiba aku sedar something yang buat selera durian aku mati. Abam dah balik kolejjjjjj. SOBS. Now how on earth can I eat the duriannnnn. Lap air mata. Hati malu malu kucing mau mengaku aku rindu dia.

Walaupun dia selalu usik aku, selalu perli, suka gunakan aku kononnya aku girlfriend dia, pembuli tegar yang berjaya buat aku rasa cam nak tarik tarik je rambut perang dia tu, tapi dialah adik dialah abang. Protective, manja (percayalah) dan kadang kadang gedik amat. Dialah teman bila aku perlukan khidmat lelaki. Abam pernah cakap dia akan tumbuk sesape yang buli aku sebab kata dia, dia sorang je boleh wat aku macam tu. Gedik kan? Rasa cam nak lempang kan? SOBS.

One thing about him yang buat aku sangat sangat sangatttttt lah geram ialah dia sangatttt suka menyakat. Dia sangat suka tengok ekspresi muka aku yang pelik dan annoyed ngan apa yang dia cakap. Sometimes bila dia bosan dia akan buat something that will piss me off and I can see his satisfied face after he did that. Kekadang rasa geram, tapi bila dia takde rinduuuuu. SOBS.

Aku kakak dia dah macam ni, mama babah cemane ye? Dah 4 bulan he's always around helping mama with things kalau dia dah balik kolej aku kira mama lah insan yang paling terkesan. Tapi aku tengok mama cool je. Lena je mama tido. SOBS. Haih. Cepat betul masa berlalu. I miss our childhood. When I look through our family pictures, doa aku dari dulu sampai sekarang ialah kekalkanlah hubungan kekeluargaan ini ya Rahman ya Rahim.

Bila aku fikir how we all will grow older and have our very own family aku jadi risau, aku jadi takut. It surely will be veryyyyyy hard ntuk kitorang bertujuh berkumpul lagi lagi bila dah kerja dan ada tanggungjawab masing masing. SOBS. I can't imagine my life on that time dan aku takut nak imagine sekarang. Let the future me handle it. SOBS. Urgh, I miss my lil sister and lil brothers BADLY.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

♥..Share it..♥

Popular posts from this blog

aku memang gedik!

Woha. I'm home and gosh super duper happy! Happier than pegi ice skating iteww. Puhleassse, 'itew'? WTH. Pi masuk tadika balik. Eja itu pon tak reti ke afi woi? Wakaka. Tadi waktu melangut dalam kereta segala macam jawapan soalan exam tetiba dengan sukarelanya mengeluarkan diri dari tempat persembunyian di antara celahan otak saya ini. Isk. Gedik mengada. Kenapa baru sekarang kau keluar? Pegila menyorok lagi!! Arghh. But on the bright side, at least I know that I KNOW what I am suppose to KNOW. So telan jela.  And you see while I was in the car, I signed in YM and guess what, terdapat seorang hamba Allah bernama M5 yang telah mencuba mengadd and menegur saya disitu. *sila maafkan ayat keling ini*. Our conversation went smooth pada permulaannya cos he acted like someone I know and we talked about something interesting which was good because I usually did that to confirm  the person adding me is a real HUMAN before I added him to my YM list.  But then he started to ...
16 comments
more ♫..

..It feels weird.

Perasaan pelik. Rasa happy but in the meantime rasa sedih waktu tengok gambar cousins aku yang berdua itu. We were so close when we were little girls tapi sekarang, masing masing dah ada hidup sendiri. Hala tuju sendiri. Semalam kak D kahwin. Gambar dah upload sikit kat facebook. Nak keluar air mata aku yang mentengok ni. Belum lagi mak long. Huish. Susah kan jadi mak? Jadi sila hargai ibu anda. Dan tadi jugak, sempat mengusha gambar kak S bertunang. Rasa macam ada rama rama dalam perut. Rasa macam nak jerit wah cantiknya kuat kuat and rasa cam nak cakap eee jelesnya. Motif? Heheh. So moral of the story is, semua dah besar panjang. Dah ada tanggungjawab masing masing. I hope everything about us won't change. How I wish adults don't have to create such barrier ya know. The barrier when they already have their own family and they seems to depart off from the big family. I hate that. Apa aku merepek ni? Ok tu je, assalamualaikum
14 comments
more ♫..

Saiko

I wonder what had gotten into me before when I used to fight so strong just to be in this course. Babah agak tak suka saya amek course ni. Babah cakap, "You'll have no life." and "Once you step in that field, its equal to learn throughout ur whole life". Tapi saya yang dulu tak kesah ngan semua benda yang babah cakap. As long as he still supports me walaupun selalu cakap keburukan amek medic, I keep my head held high. Tak pandang belakang dah. I made my decision and that's it. No turning back. Tapi sekarang saya jadi keliru. Can I do this? Am I fit enough to be a good doctor? Can I diagnose correctly? Can I treat the patient the way I'm taught? Can I be like my lecturers who are super awesome? Can I? Bimbang. Keliru. Sometimes I feel like giving up. Rasa macam tak layak. Tengok semorang dah progress but me? Still kat takuk yang lama. Even worse, dah turun beberapa anak tangga.  I tried to talk to my close friends abut this. But no help at all....
13 comments
more ♫..