Skip to main content

..tired of

I'm tired of EVERYTHING. I'm tired of acting fine, I'm tired of being able to say yes I have time. No matter how much I tried to not think about it but my brain wont listen and my heart aching.

I hate being your second option. I hate being a wayout for you to escape loneliness. And I hateeeeee to admit that you will never ever look at me no matter how hard I tried to make myself visible for you.

I guess this is it. This is how it was meant to be. I wont try anymore. I give up. I will forget. So don't dare to show up and ruin every single thing in my long term survival plan.

For the first time in several years, the thoughts about you failed to make me smile or cry insted, thinking about you makes me go EMOTIONLESS.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Jalan Bbn 12/1,Nilai,Malaysia
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

♥..Share it..♥

Popular posts from this blog

Doktor Sakit Puan

Sebab aku perempuan, dan pesakit aku semua nya perempuan. Women only. Exclusive kan? Macam tulah Allah jaga aku, with His own ways. Heyy bukan senang aku nak cool je dengan tittle MO O&G ni. Makan dalam bertahun kot. Sobs. Dari student benci gila subjek O&G, sekarang amekau. Sobs lagi sekali. Being in this department wasn't my choice. Family person macam aku ni akan minta dijauhi dari O&G sumpah tak tipu, tapi nak wat acanerr aku insan terpilih. Lepas kena campak kat sini memang jatuh terduduk, tergolek, terdampar. Sampai sekarang masih cuba buang dendam pada dia yang campak aku kat lubang gelap ni walaupun sebenarnya dah agak agak boleh terima hakikat. Kalau terserempak dengan dia mesti akan terngiang ngiang ayat I resent you  Fuhh dia punya dendam tak hengat. Tak pernah aku berdendam macam ni seuumur hidup. Now slowly tengah buang dendam sebab dah boleh terima kenyataan, KOT. Kenapa aku tak suka/ separa benci pada O&G? Sebabnye ...
Post a Comment
more ♫..

Aku dan Lipas.

I had terrible night last night. Siangnya pon agak terible jugakla. Dengan suara garau and muka yang hitam, kepala pusing plus temperature of 38.5 I could barely move. Bedridden. Weehu. And what make it worse? LIPAS. Had 2 scenes with lipas. First was, I found a freaking damn dead cockroach in my mihun tomyam. Imagine: I was like hungry to death and the cafe took like ages to deliver my food. Bila dah sampai I just dug in the food without doing the routine check. Suapan ke dua, I felt something strange about the tomyam. Rasa macam pelik. But keeps on eating cos LAPAR. On my 3rd suapan, I saw something weird floating on the spoon and as I took closer look, I screamed like it was no tomorrow. ADAKAH AKU TELAH MEMAKAN TOMYAM PERASA LIPAS? Omjayyyy!!! Called the cafe and explained the situation to a worker. Dengan pelat indon and bahasa melayu yang kurang mantapnya itu, she kept on asking whether I still kept the lipas I found in her tomyam. Seriously I feel like shouting at her on her f...
16 comments
more ♫..

Saiko

I wonder what had gotten into me before when I used to fight so strong just to be in this course. Babah agak tak suka saya amek course ni. Babah cakap, "You'll have no life." and "Once you step in that field, its equal to learn throughout ur whole life". Tapi saya yang dulu tak kesah ngan semua benda yang babah cakap. As long as he still supports me walaupun selalu cakap keburukan amek medic, I keep my head held high. Tak pandang belakang dah. I made my decision and that's it. No turning back. Tapi sekarang saya jadi keliru. Can I do this? Am I fit enough to be a good doctor? Can I diagnose correctly? Can I treat the patient the way I'm taught? Can I be like my lecturers who are super awesome? Can I? Bimbang. Keliru. Sometimes I feel like giving up. Rasa macam tak layak. Tengok semorang dah progress but me? Still kat takuk yang lama. Even worse, dah turun beberapa anak tangga.  I tried to talk to my close friends abut this. But no help at all....
13 comments
more ♫..