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..tired of

I'm tired of EVERYTHING. I'm tired of acting fine, I'm tired of being able to say yes I have time. No matter how much I tried to not think about it but my brain wont listen and my heart aching.

I hate being your second option. I hate being a wayout for you to escape loneliness. And I hateeeeee to admit that you will never ever look at me no matter how hard I tried to make myself visible for you.

I guess this is it. This is how it was meant to be. I wont try anymore. I give up. I will forget. So don't dare to show up and ruin every single thing in my long term survival plan.

For the first time in several years, the thoughts about you failed to make me smile or cry insted, thinking about you makes me go EMOTIONLESS.

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