October 01, 2011

..b..e..r..u..s..a..h..a

Years back I thought it would be great to be a doctor. Studying medicine. I thought it will be cool to investigate and diagnose the sick people. I thought life would be much easier if I just spend my five years of age studying. Now it seems that the thoughts back then are not that accurate. Sigh.

When I see half, no, almost all my friends are graduating and some of them already work for years, I am so freaking jealous. Not to mention to those who are already married or getting married, damn, they have such a perfect life. One of my friends already have two kids and me?? Aah. Chincha. I hope I am still able to get pregnant by the time I am married.

And that's just not it. I'm emotionally not able to handle all the stress from the hospital. Not at all. I need to train myself to be emotion Less. No, stronger is a better word I guess. Strong enough that I can stand to see kids dying. Strong enough that I won't cry seeing old folks who are sick being abandon by the family. Strong enough to hear mothers screaming in pain in order to deliver their baby. Strong enough to not do any mistakes that will put my future patients's life at risk.

Yeah. I need to move on. No, not need but MUST. Cause I endured it long enough to give up now. Afi, keep your head up. Please.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

4 comments:

  1. please be strong my dear~
    i believe that one day u'll find ur happiness throughout ur choosen path..

    i like the statement:
    I hope I am still able to get pregnant by the time I am married.LOL :))

    ReplyDelete
  2. @NuRFaLaH

    Feeyahnkte takooot IM. Sumpah takuut amaaattt Y.Y

    ReplyDelete

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