February 07, 2012

..kahwinlah.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about marriage because someone close to me is getting married. Well actually not really getting married but sorta getting married. Know what I mean??? Ok whatever.

Sometimes I wonder, adeke orang dalam dunia ni kawen masa blaja but then live seperately. Perempuan tinggal kat hostel perempuan and lelaki tinggal kat hostel lelaki. Whenever you are damn bored or alone and lonely, you can easily call your spouse to accompany you. Do whatever pasangan belum kahwin do? Ada rasa rindu rindu, jeles jeles and nikmat berdating. Tapi semua tu dilakukan after kahwin bila dah halal. Is that possible? Is that sane?? And most importantly are we allowed to do that??

Actually kan for me, as I think about it, I kinda like that idea ( please note that I am wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too far from marriage and stuffs like that ok ) cos eventually you got to feel the feelings every other couples did. Secara sejujurnya I am really AGAINST the idea of coupling thingy. Though there are or were times that I'm carried away by attractions from opposite sex, but I still think that bercinta sebelum kahwin is not that fun and thrilling. Heheh. If you like someone (which is normal), you shouldnt nurture the feelings before you are sure that he or she is the right person for you to fall to which is by doing istikharah and get married. Duhh. Apetah aku merepek ni. Tapikan zaman moden ni ramai parents yang tak kasi anak anak kahwin awal or kahwin waktu belajar. Most of them mempunyai alasan "takut kehilangan anak". Seriously, are you really going to lose the daughter after she gets married? Hmm aku rasa kat Malaysia ni ok je kot. Lainla for some other countries dengan culture isteri wajib tinggal dengan family suami. Kat Malaysia takdekan benda benda macam tu??

Well actually for me yang belum jadi mak bapak ni kan, I think you shouldnt be afraid of losing anak itu. Kalau dari kecil didikan and terapan nilai keluarga tu dah diterapkan dengan sebetulnya kat anak anak, you wouldnt have that kinda problem. And the attachment between family members tu semua perlu didevelop sejak kecik. If they are well mould with the importance and how valuable family are, so why worry so much about terputus hubungan keluarga and kehilangan anak? Relation between mother and daughter will always there though the umbilicus was cut off long time ago. Thats just my 2 cents opinion la.

And warm reminder to parents yang tak approve anak anak dorang kawin awal because they are afraid of losing the child, I must say that you kinda lose her or him slowly just the second he or she fell in love and bercinta dengan hangatnya. Betul tak betul tak?? So daripada sorta membenarkan mereka kapel kapel bagai adalah lagi berfaedah kalau kahwin je terus, bukan? Memangla bila dah kahwin banyak tanggungjawab and so on and sebagai seorang pelajar benda tu adalah amat menyusahkan dan ayat yang selalu aku dengar from mothers " korang nak makan ape? Pasir? " taaaapppppi, Rasulullah sendiri cakap kan Allah murahkan rezeki pasangan yang berkahwin ni. Kahwin kan tuntutan agama, insyaAllah Allah akan permudahkan semua.

Ntahlah. Kekadang susah jugak nak fahamkan semorang apa yang kita faham. But seriously if I am the father, I would rather my daughter get married daripada dia dibawak keluar kesana kemari. Tuntutan agama dan maruah anak is faaaaaaarrrrrr too important for me I guess. Kalau taknak kasi dorang kahwin, NEVER let them berkapel bagai. Pilihlah, hilang anak or hilang maruah.

Oh yeah, aku tak kata tak boleh ada perasaan cinta sebelum kahwin tapi aku tak suka typical couple yang keluar berdating bagai tu. Buuuuuut if you go out ke buat aktiviti apeke ngan your partner with the presence of perempuan tu punya wali then its ok la. kuncinya, jangan langgar tuntutan agama or else, kahwin je senang. Kalau rasa kahwin tu susah, jangan susah susah bercinta tak ingat dunia.

Dan lagi, alasan yang aku dengar dari mereka mereka yang liat nak kawin ni, "Tak bersedia, tak cukup duit". Define bersedia. Kalau dah sanggup bercinta bagai nak rak, keluar kesana kemari bersama sama, sanggup hantar girlfriend balik kampung jauh jauh, sanggup berdiri dalam hujan bagi panadol kat girlfriend yang demam then, apa bezanya dengan bersedia dalam bab kahwin? Bagi aku macam takde beza pon dari segi komitmen tu. Lainlah kalau kau kapel dengan dia for the sake of orang lain kapel aku pon nak kapel jugak. Yang tu dah sah sah terang lagi nyata ada benda tak kena so go mend your "love" sensation part kat otak tu.

Pasal tak cukup duit pulak, aku rasa orang melayu ni banyak sangat adatnye. Kadang kadang orang terkonfius yang mana satu adat, yang mana satu tuntutan agama. Aku pon sama. Tersimpang. Semakin rendah mas kahwin maka lagi tinggi darjat perempuan tu dimata Allah insyaAllah. Tapi tulah kan, orang zaman sekarang tetapkan mas kahwin ikut tahap pelajaran. SPM lain, Diploma lain, ijazah lain. Haih. Baik letak tanda harga kat dahi je, aku berharga sekian sekian sebab aku ada ijazah. Kan senang. Tak payah susah susah runding duit hantaran. Again, this is only my 2 cents opinion. Harap takde yang terluka. Aku cuma luahkan apa yang aku fikir dan peringatan kepada diri sendiri juga.

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2 comments:

  1. Kan senang kalo kahwin tu mcm makan coklat... nyum2.. haha :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Akn jadi senang kalau ko pk senang. Akn jadi susah kalo ko pk susah. Tp mmg ssh pon. hehe :D

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