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..3rd August 2012


Its 14th Ramadhan already. MasyaAllah, how time flies. We had gone through almost half of this blessed month and I didn’t khatam al-Quran as yet. I envy my colleagues who had fantastically in their round 2 of reciting the holy Quran. How do you guys manage to do that, seriously? Hm.

Yesterday was the registration day for first year students. One of them was the daughter of our beloved naqibah, Anisah. Watching them the juniors gathering at some places during orientation brings some joy to me personally. May Allah let us be the instruments of his mercy, InsyaAllah. And to add the joy of being a student of CUCMS who has severe SMS, (don’t ask me what SMS stands for, you don’t want to know trust me, cos its contagious!) our medical school has finally owns a luxurious hostel. Cantik amat! Juniors, sila hargai apa yang korang ada cos we didn’t have that privilege. We had to live in a non-healthy environment which is full of foreigners from different country and we were a cluster of vulnerable people there. Believe me, you got to believe me, that place may be the last place you consider living in nowadays. CUCMS finally hear us and it’s a good thing, yes it is.

Today we had sister talk session and the speaker was Dr Maisara Yusra. I was really tired to stay back (alasan si pemalas) but Syifaa and Feeyah were very persuasive so I was in. We discussed few things back then and what struck me most was this reminder she told us. “Rezeki yang benar benar rezeki kita ialah makanan yang habis dimakan, baju yang dipakai sehingga lusuh dan harta yang disedekahkan kepada orang lain”. A good reminder for me, for us.

And today also I was traumatized with the news from mama regarding our family members. Dua hamba Allah telah dijemput pergi semalam. Semoga Allah menempatkan mereka di kalangan orang orang yang beriman. Amiin.  I am hoping that my life will end within Ramadhan too. Cos in this month, "Pintu syurga dibuka dengan seluas luasnya dan pintu neraka ditutup serapat rapatnya" Allahuakbar. Sedekahkan al-Fatihah untuk mereka, please. :)


Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

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I wonder what had gotten into me before when I used to fight so strong just to be in this course. Babah agak tak suka saya amek course ni. Babah cakap, "You'll have no life." and "Once you step in that field, its equal to learn throughout ur whole life". Tapi saya yang dulu tak kesah ngan semua benda yang babah cakap. As long as he still supports me walaupun selalu cakap keburukan amek medic, I keep my head held high. Tak pandang belakang dah. I made my decision and that's it. No turning back. Tapi sekarang saya jadi keliru. Can I do this? Am I fit enough to be a good doctor? Can I diagnose correctly? Can I treat the patient the way I'm taught? Can I be like my lecturers who are super awesome? Can I? Bimbang. Keliru. Sometimes I feel like giving up. Rasa macam tak layak. Tengok semorang dah progress but me? Still kat takuk yang lama. Even worse, dah turun beberapa anak tangga.  I tried to talk to my close friends abut this. But no help at all....
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