Past Tense

Harini exam long case. First first masuk dokter tanya " stress tak? Berdebar tak? " dokter ni buat lawak pulak. Nama pon exam wahai dokterku sayang mestilah stress wajiblah cuak. Sobs. Cuba teka aku dapat case ape? Yea. Pyelonephritis. Chief complain is loin pain associated with prolong fever. Yang menariknya makcik ni, dia punya past medical history tu banyak yang amat dan seterusnya agak menyusahkan aku nak fikir differential diagnosis. Sudahnya aku ada satu differential diagnosis je. Itu pon agak agak tak logik. Physical findings memang tak membantu langsung. Renal punch n murphy sign negative. Nasib baik dapat diagnose dengan betulnye kalau tak habislah melayang entah kemana markah markah itu. Hurr. Exam tadi tu berciricirikan viva jugakla sebenarnya. Ala ala bedside teaching pon ade. Nasib baik. Tapi otak ni tak kira masa dia asik nak blank je. Bersih dan suci fikiran waktu kena soal ngan dokter. E.coli dah jadi enterococcus coli. Ape ni afi ape ni?? Arghhhh. St...

" For a thousand years. For a thousand more. " 3 days more. :) - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

It will be very nice if time would stop whenever I'm having exams but no no there's no such thing so yeah, lets just get it done with. True. Exams are life. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

" if sorry can solve everything, then the guns won't exist " " sorry cannot turn back time " I will forgive you, but I wont be able to be the same Afi you knew. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

Ye mengeluh itu tidak bagus, but I want to do it anyway. Inilah contoh contoh manusia bebal. Sila jangan tiru. Tak tahu bila exam cos examiner pergi outstation kat Taiwan. Rasa macam hidup digantung tanpa tali apabila ini terjadi. Sobs. Kesian IO. Dah dua hari enjin beliau sejuk beku. Dah dua hari aku tak keluar dari cyber height ni. Dah dua hari tak makan proper meal. Satu benda yang bagus bila aku balik Cyberjaya ialah, selera makanan serta merta terbantut akibat kemuakan yang nyata terhadap kedai di Cyberjaya. Sape kata duk Cyberjaya best? Selain ada campus yang punyai speed internet tahap roket, takde benda best pon kat sini. Carik makan pon susah. Sobs. Eh tapi tapi kat Cyberheight ni best jugak la seposen dua posen sebab ada tasik, so semangat jogging berkobar kobar. Semalam pergi jogging tapi end up mandi hujan so niat untuk study di malam hari terbantut sebab kepala pusing. Inilah namanya seperti keluar dari mulut buaya tapi masuk ke mulut harimau. Niat baik nak ba...

See this? This patient has amyloidosis. And this is vitiligo. What about this one? He has urticaria I really dont know how to master this dermatology thingy. Seriously. Ohhh I'm screwed. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

Its ok, I'll be fine. Tak mati pon kalau tak pernah masuk cinema. Yes believe me I've never been in a cinema my entire life. Bukan nak tunjuk baik ke apa, but its just me. Ada yang cakap "its not a sin pon masuk cinema, just tengok movie. Pasal orang berkhalwat tu biarlah dorang, asalkan bukan kite yang buat dahlah" Hmm. Tapi kalau dah tau ada potensi orang bermaksiat kat situ kenapa tak elakkan? I'm just saying. No hard feelings, please. Ada jugak cakap, "apa apa pon bergantung pada niat. Kalau niat nak release stress, tengok cite katun je so it should be ok. Islam itu mudah". But still, there are thousands, no zillions of things I can do to relesse stress so why do I still have to choose cinema? You guys may be right, but there still chances that you are wrong. I came from a place that has no cinema. So I guess I am used to the absence. It may be true that its not haram but for me, if I still can avoid it then, I will try my best to avoid it. Bany...

Yes I'm immature. Most of the posts in this blog are just piece of shits. (dah termencarut) Haih. I just need a place to brag. A place I can say anything I want. And I found it, its here. So if you are someone close who read every single thing in here, just kindly keep it to urself k. Dont have to tell the world about it or I'll be in no peace anymore. Hehe. Zipp it!! - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

..baru je tengok cite merong mahawangsa. Ye ye tau. Aku terlambat. Cite tuh da lama tapi ada aku kesah? Muehehe. Asal dapat tengok sudeh. Kepada sesiapa yang tak tengok lagi, silalah mentengok ye. Hampir termenangis aku dengan ending cite tu. :) The best thing about this movie is of course the CGI effects. The production team did such an awesome work and I think they all deserve salutes from Malaysians. Bukan senang nak hasilkan filem macam ni. Kan?  And as for Merong, personally I think he's so cool. Seriously cool and cool and cool. Oh I like it cool. Mueheheh. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

Sangat frust dengan bendalah BMJ ni. Haissshhhh. I did register at campus, using CUCMS ip address but why on earthhh do I still have to pay to subscribe this thingggg. Tak paham tak paham. Buta buta buta IT. Sobs. Nevermind. Next week is clinical exam. Long case. And my examiner is a neurologist. Ah sudah. In the past, he was the one who treated my migrain and recently I acknowledge him as a father of my friend and now he is the person who is going to pass me or fail me in this i-hope-i-get-a-good-case exam. Sobs. Kena solat hajat bagi lembut hati generous markah ni. Harap harap berkat kesamaan nama beliau dengan nama babah maka beliau akan go easy on me. Sobs. Oh ye. Nak melepaskan geram kat seorang House Officer ward 4. I dont know why he is acting so damn cocky. Mungkin sebab dia fikir dia dah jadi dokter (walaupun HO je) so we all need to respect him as he is a senior specialist kat situ. Common la weh, you still in the phase of learning so am I. Can we just help each othe...

..Amazing how she can boost up my energy to study. Thanks, love. I soo heart you mom. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

" even small thing happened while crossing the road made my day " Moral: its easy to make me happy. :) - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

I learn this many many years ago, love. Sorry, I dont dare to take the risk anymore. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Today went to alamanda. Again. Where else can I go besides Alamanda right? Heheh. Went there with awaa but then she met her love kat sana and I thought it would be nice if I just let her with him. I myself need my afi time. Besides, we went there to release stress and my way of releasing stress was by window shopping or maybe a lil bit of shopping but she had her own way so.... why do I have to bother..... right? ... I hope I did the right thing. My method of releasing stress today adalah dengan bershopping and terus pakai baju baru after dah bayar. Nice tak? Pegi pakai baju lain, balik pakai baju lain. Wekekeke. I just hope all the stress went away with the baju. Aku takdelah nak buang baju tu pon but at least macam meninggalkan stress kat kedai gitu. I know I sound very alienn right now but that just me. Accept me or lose me, I told you kan? Ngehheheh. Nice thing happened back then at Parkson was, there was a makcik yang duk pilih accessories. She was at my mom's age. At...

"Silence is a girl's loudest cry. You will always know that she's deeply hurt if she's ignoring you" I'm not hurt. I'm just tired. snort. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Bbn 12/1,Nilai,Malaysia

"If we are acting in a movie, I want to kill you over and over and over again because I know, you won't really die even if I cut your head and stuff it in your belly.'' Uuh. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Them: Yeah. Life sucks when you are the only person alive. They: Yeah. Life would be much easier when you are around. Hmph. Yeah. People lie. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

I am an alien. Its hard to please me. Accept me or lose me. I mean it. Sorry to say but I hate people who expect others to treat him or her well but in turn, he or she treats people like they are just another piece of meat. What's so good about you that you think you have the right to do so? Is it because you feel so powerful that every human being need to do as you say? Is it because you think that others keep listening to you so they are sooo damn weak and you have the urge and power to do what you did? Poor you. I think your meninges had been infected with deadly horror virus that's why your brain deteriorating and cannot function well anymore. I pray you wont die tomorrow. I hope you at least have the opportunity to apologize. I hope you live long enough to repent your sins. I'm so mad I feel like bombing a car. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Lebuh Sentosa,Putrajaya,Malaysia

Dont make a PROMISE when you know you CANNOT KEEP it. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

Safari. Type facebook. Log in. Home. 6 event invitations. Undangan ke majlis perkahwinan bla bla bla. Close window facebook. Termenung. 6 lagi dah kahwin. Sigh. =.=". Jelous. Oh. Tarikh harini cantik. Sigh lagi. 11/11/11. Second death that I need to face for this posting. Though I'm not the doctor who treated him, and not the doctor who supervised him, just a medical student who was once been scolded by him, but I felt like crying when I saw the wife's expression when she looked at me. Those teary red eyes, I will remember it for the rest of my life. Septic shock, I'm gonna nail you in my brain forever. I wish I am feelingLess. So its easier to face death. So I'm not emotionally involved with the family of the patients. So I can go to the hospital without any fear. Hurr. *kepala dalam bantal* Never thought it will be this depressing. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Skarang aku faham kenapa patient lagi suka jumpa dokter yang maybe kurang hebat tapi lebih banyak dengar compared to doctor who can tell the diagnosis by just staring at the patient but she never listens!! Sometimes patient needs someone to talk to instead of someone who shut the hell out of her when she's talking. Duh. I hate that kind of doctor. Haih. Rasa macam nak jerit kuat kuat kuat ' where on earth are you? I need you nowwww ' . Tapi macamla dia dengar kan? And most importantly I dont think that person cares pon. I'm soo pathetic. Lay low afi lay low. Bronchus, please get well soon. This steroid is pumping my body. I'll gain more weight if I keep on taking this thing, seriously. And heart, please pump well. I heart u the most. Let me see my patients tomorrow. Jebal.. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Cyber Height,Cyberjaya,Malaysia

Jalan jem. It took me about 7 hours from KL to home. Sepatutnya 3 jam jadik lebih kurang 7 jam. Nice kan? Haih.. Rumah agak tak organize and messy. I think there is something wrong with the electric circuit. Heater tak jalan. Gate pon down. Semua da jadi manual. I just hope that nothing severe will happen. My beloved personal electrical engineer aka mr know it all pleaseeee come home early. No, time pleasee move faster so I can hug him tightly. Sobs. Rinduuu. Masuk kete babah je I smell his scent. Rasa nak peluk peluk sit driver tu tapi takut orang nampak and aku end up kat hospital bahagia. Sobss. All in all, I am soooo glad cos I got to do what I need to do. Rasa hidup ini lebih bermakna. I feeelll good. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

..membosan menunggu. Ibarat menunggu kucing bertumbuh tanduk. Ini kalau cekgu BM aku baca memang kecewalah beliau. Hmm. Lapar. Letih. Menghannntuuukk. Notabunyibasbingitamat: sapela tinggal serban kat pokok tu. Gulp. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad Location: Jalan Putra Permai,Seri Kembangan,Malaysia

First day of november was filled with constellations of funny things. I tripped off the stairs last night (31th oct) and I wasnt able to sleep till 1 am in the morning cos of the throbbing pain that came from my sprained wrist. It was painful yes it was. Ok, fine. Maybe I overreacted. There were mild, no, moderate abrasion resulting from the me-tripping-off-the-stairs incident. Hell yeah there were blood oozing out from the wound and not to mention my heart bleeds too because it was embarrassing. My male colleague witnessed the whole accident tapi nasib baiklah dia budak kecik so I am not that hummiliated pon. But still, mannnn. Thats quitee embarassing. Jatuh saham aku uuh. Today also I got the honour to teach a patient the right method of using inhaler during ward round. Penat lungs kesian lungs. So tonight my lungs really need a lot of rest that's why I'm doing this. Dah lama tak tulis surat cinta kat kekasih oh my belog. Dan berbalik pada isu ajar patient the right tec...