Past Tense

Last weekend strating from friday to sunday, semua pelajar farmasi and MBBS batch 0910 diwajibkan pegi Ulu Perdik ntuk PPD camp. To those yang tertanya tanya apa itu PPD, PPD stands for personal and professional development. Memang mantap. Actually saya tak pernah join memana camping before so I was kinda excited and tertanya tanya what was it like to sleep in tent. Bila dah sampai sana and dah rasa tidur dalam khemah, terasa diri sangat bersyukur dikurniakan sebiji tilam dan sebuah katil ntuk dijadikan alas tidur di malam hari. Sobs. First night kat sana adalah hujan dan ditakdirkan khemah kami bocor. So berenang renanglah kami didalam khemah bersama sleeping bag tercinta. Satu aktiviti yang saya takkan lupa sampai bila bila is free fall or some of the trainers panggil trust fall. Serius menakutkan. Adrenalin rush sama macam waktu naik roller coster except that I am more behave. Kalau naik roller coster kau terjerit sampai keluar anak tekak pon takde orang kesah tapi kalau buat bend...

Hiking will be the last thing I want to do these days. Pengalaman nasib-baik-tak-jatuh-gaung buat saya serik. On that time, after dah mengucap panjang and before my hands were pulled by the best groupmate, I was thinking, "Oh Allah please don't let me die now. There's too much things I want to do and there's too much things left unspoken. Please, let me live at least after PPD camp" And I think he answered my prayer. Thanks Allah. Need-to-rethink. p/s: bukannya gaung sangat pon and bila dipikir pikir balik its not that I'm going to die kalau jatuh, maybe patah tulang or jadi sewel or kena cucuk ngan banyak duri but still, kalau Allah nak tarik nyawa jatuh longkang pon boleh mati kan. :) Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Autopost entry. Waktu entry ni di publishkan, saya sedang berada di dalam hutan Ulu Langat. Jangan tanya kenapa, saya sendiri pon kurang jelas dengan objektif kami dipaksa ke sana. Wohoho. Kalau Prof baca ni kena shut down lah belog gamaknye. Ok berbalik kepada isu bunuh diri, I mean budak perempuan kurang pandai ni punya cerita, wahai adik kenapakah kamu berusaha sekeras ini untuk membunuh diri? Kenapa nak kena panjat bangunan bagai? Betul cakap Cik Epal, kalau nak sangat bunuh diri tu pegi amek pisau potong daging, tusuk abdomen dalam dalam bagi segala arteries pecah, kalau nak lagi cepat kau tikam kat aorta tu terus biar kering darah dalam badan tu. Takyah susah susah guna ATP bebanyak panjat tangga ke naik lif ke naik escalator ke sampai ke puncak atas tu. Haish. Tapi seriously kalau budak ni ter'mati' kat situ, saya berjanji pada diri sendiri takkan pijak KBmall sampai tua. Kalau korang nak tau KBmall ni tempat saya lepak waktu form 4 form 5. Al maklumlah naim lilbanat ...

Tadi siang ada talk daripada saudara Idris Taufiq. He is a British guy, and a priest before he embraced Islam. Waktu dengar apa yang dia cakap, saya rasa malu dengan diri sendiri. Apa saya dah buat selama ni? Dah hampir 21 tahun hidup kat dunia tapi apa yang saya dah buat untuk agama saya? This guy, saudara baru tapi effort dia untuk sebarkan agama Islam, jaga maruah agama, cuba perbetulkan apa yang tak betul pada manusia sekeliling tentang agama, sangatlah mengagumkan. Lihat diri sendiri, fikir, apa saya dah buat untuk agama saya dan yang paling penting, bagaimanakah iman saya sekarang? Lemahkah? Kuatkah? Sobs. Oh fatin afifah, apa yang kau dah buat untuk nikmat Islam yang Allah bagi ni? Sobs.  Sungguh, saya tak kuat macam beliau. Fatin afifah suka ambil kisah apa yang orang cakap, sedangkan apalah sangat pandangan manusia kat dunia ni, pandangan Allah tu yang penting. Tapi disebabkan ilmu agama tak setanding dengan umur, saya lalai dan lupa dengan fakta itu. Oh bodohnya saya. Al...

It feels weird to know that my younger brother has found a perfect woman to be the mother of his child. And its weirder to know her name is similar to mine. Why fatin? Sobs. Cuba bayangkan kad kahwin tu nanti, afiq and fatin. Err. "Kakak carila suami nama afiq, boleh reuse balik kad kahwin tu nanti" Good idea. Jimat duit. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Fitrah manusia, bila diuji barulah sibuk cari sejadah, tasbih, quran. Hmmph. Afi. Apa nak jadi ni? Allah..bilalah aku akan ada kekuatan ntuk pegang makhluk comel ini. Sobs. Baru sekarang saya sedar satu nikmat dunia telah ditarik sebab takutkan kaum ni. wuu. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Tell me what you want to hear Something that were like those years I'm sick of all the insincere So I'm gonna give all my secrets away This time Don't need another perfect lie Don't care if critics ever jump in line I'm Gonna give all my secrets away. p/s: I don't care. :) Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Cara mantap ubat ulser dalam mulut? Taruk garam. Pedih. Cara prevent infection kat luka? Basuh. Pedih. Cara mantap ubat hati yang sakit? Face the pain stimulus. Pedih. ...TAPI yang pedih tulah BERHASIL. Ubat, memang menyakitkan. p/s: Ustazah saya cakap tak salah sukakan manusia. Tapi ianya akan jadi salah apabila kita sukakan manusia lebih daripada Pencipta manusia itu. Sedangkan Siti Khadijah sukakan Nabi Muhammad sebelum mereka berkahwin apatah lagi saya wanita biasa yang jauh tarafnya dengan Siti Khadijah. Jadi kepada 'youdislikeme' yang mengeluarkan statement tersebut, terimakasih daun keladi lain kali messagelah lagi  Allah bless your soul, ameen.  Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Let me be like this tonight. Only tonight. You made me see something. You defined me something I don't understand well. You helped me find out my true feelings. You made me believe something that I never accepted in my life. You made my mom compared you to my dad. You took my heart away. You carved your name on it but then you gave it back to me. I tried my best to erase, but your name stays and never disappears. I tried and tried and tried till at some point, it bleeds. What do I do? I just can't be me when I'm with you. I tried to be the best, but I'm the worse. I tried to talk much, but at the end I was the one who talked less. I tried to say good words, but I ended up making a mess. I straighten my mind, making my heart understand that you don't belong to me but it just won't let you go. What do I do? I don't want my heart to be broken, so I scrub you off my mind. And now, my neurons are not working well I kept on seeing your images. What do I do?? A...

He said everything well. Seriously. WELL SAID. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

I adore this guy. Not because he's cute *lol* but because of his effort to help people in Japan. Dare to do something fun & beneficial? Lets brainstorm. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Ya Allah… Jika aku jatuh cinta, cintakanlah aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya pada-Mu, agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk mencintai-Mu Ya Allah… Jika aku jatuh hati, izinkan aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu, agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta berlandaskan nafsu. Ya Rabbul Izzati… Jika aku rindu, rindukanlah aku pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalan-Mu Ya Allah… Jika aku menikmati cinta kekasih-Mu, janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhir-Mu. Ya Allah… Jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasih-Mu, jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepada-Mu. Ya Allah… Engkau mengetahui bahwa hati-hati ini telah berhimpun dalam cinta pada-Mu, telah berjumpa pada taat pada-Mu, telah bersatu dalam dakwah pada-Mu, telah berpadu dalam membela syariat-Mu. Kokohkanlah ya Allah ikatannya, kekalkanlah cintanya, tunjukilah jalan-jalannya, penuhilah hati-hati ini d...

I was browsing the net when I found a blog and an entry talking about ugly babies.. Well, I know each and everyone of us has own definition of ugly. Maybe penulis tu tak bermaksud apaapa and I am the one who is being overly sensitive over that matter. For me, ugly is UGLY. Something that is not fun to watch at all, something that is horrible and yuck and UGLY. Hurmm. He or she looks uncomfortable and slightly distress. Mungkin bayi ni sakit n is suffering from something we dont know? Its unfair to label him or her that..sobs. Banyak lagi gambargambar lain tapi saya dah tak larat nak mengopy. Hurm, they are not ugly, they're just LESS CUTE than other babies. Kan? Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

It feels good to be home. Home SWEET home. Rindu pantai Teluk Lipat. Rindu spot yang saya selalu pegi ntuk release tension. Rindu kedai kedai makan tempat dating ngan mama. Rindu cheese cake kat hotel UiTM. Rindu tok ngan tokki. Rinduuuu. Oh rinduuuu. Tapi takpe. Sooner or later I will find something interesting kat kemaman juga. Apart from Oman yang menceriakan hari hari di kemaman, there should be more things to be explored. Tunggulah saya cuti nanti, semua tempat saya pergi. Weehu. oman yang ceria. Menangkap gambar beliau adalah satu cabaran yang nyata. Oh. Jangan risau, I'm clean. Tiada AEDES tiada DENGGI. Babah freaked out bila saya cakap FBC shows platelet low and doctor suspect denggi. Terus saya dikidnap and dibawa balik kerumah. Takke heaven tu namanya? Weehu. Bagai buah strawberry jatuh ke riba. Suweeett souuur. Akibat penculikan ini saya tertinggal 2 group discussions. Tapi takpe, family lebih penting. Bukan? Oh. Sila jangan bandingkan seafood Terengganu denga...

Perkara menarik harini A guy asked a MUSLIM " why do ur girls cover their body & hair?! " The MUSLIM guy smiled & got 2 sweets , he unwrapped the 1st & kept the other one wrapped .. He threw both sweets on the dusty floor and then he said to the guy " if i asked u to take one of the sweets which one will u choose !? " the guy said " the covered one " Then the MUSLIM said "that's how we treat & see our women.." We were trained to make assumptions based on 'physical evidence' and 'tests'. Thats one of the best things about med school. But it SUCKS when the 'diagnosis' made is totally wrong. Moral of the story: Jadilah seperti sweets yang berbungkus, and don't let medical students do the assumptions or else, they will make wrong diagnosis. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

I can't stand seeing people crying. Lagi lagi yang menangis tu adalah insan kesayangan. Sobs. Its ok sayang, Menangislah di Bahuku jika itu dapat menenangkanmu. p/s: Kuat diluar lembut didalam. :)

Allahu Rabbi.. Golongkan aku dalam golongan yang sentiasa mengingati Mu. Jauhi aku dari golongan manusia yang menyekutukanMu. Hindari aku dari manusia yang lalai dengan perintahMu. Dekatkan aku dengan hamba hamba yang taat kepadaMu. Aku manusia LUPA. Jentik hatiku dengan peringatan kekuasaanMu.

Penghilang stress yang berjaya ialah ini. makanan oo yeah, makanan lagi. coklat sumber lemak. buku. yeke? sila percaya. hijau hijauan cyberia dan bau rumput selepas hujan. kolam yang biru. source of UTI . uuuu, yes. dan tak lupa, ini juga.  Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

1) Adakah anda rasa anda hot? Definitely not. I'm a cold being. Terlampau cold sampai dah tercynose mulut dan kuku kaki tangan. Cold enough to make people avoid me. Too cold to express own feelings. Sedihkan manusia macam ni? Keh keh keh. 2) Upload gambar wallpaper/ pic. yang anda guna sekarang 3) Cerita pasal gambar Hmm. Nothing much. Baru je donlod theme ni pagi tadi. I use this theme cos dah bosan dengan themes yang lain plus, its purple. Purple is cool. ^^ 4) Bila kali terakhir makan ayam? Let me see. Semalam. Waktu supper a.k.a bukak puasa. Dalam mihun sup. Sedaaap.  5)  Lagu terakhir yang anda dengar? Waving flag. Kegilaan kat lagu ni menjadi jadi because of the somali kids punya performance semalam. They were so awesomeeeee and superrrr adoraabbblee.  6) Apa yang anda fikir selain menyelesaikan Tag ini 1. Bantal 2. SCTL belum baca 3. CC notes belum print 4. CVS belum settle 5. I'm just too tired and I feel like sleeping 6. Cannot sleep as y...

Mom's words are the best remedy.  Yes. Exactly. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Karena bagiku, kau kehormatanku.  In love with that line. So MUCH.

So this weekend I traveled again. Travel? Not really travel pon sebenarnya. Just drive ikut kata hati. And guess what, tetiba sampai kat tasik ape tah. Seriously sepanjang dua tahun tinggal kat Cyber tak pernah pon tahu macam mana nak pegi kat tasik ni. Ngeh ngeh ngeh. Agak jauh dari cyberia, my home tak sweet sangat home. So I spent like an hour there. Watching people, captured some photos dengan camera cabuk enfon. Encik A: Hi. Mind if I sit here? Saya: Err Encik A: Sorry. Are you here with someone? Saya: Um. ehm, err Encik A: I'll sit here anyway................So, my name is A Saya: Oh. Hehehe Encik A: What are you doing here? Saya: Erm. Encik A: Its ok if you don't know english. My english is quite bad as well. Just say it in malay I can understand you Saya: Hehe. release tension Encik A: I see. So you are a student I suppose? Which college? LKW? MMU? Saya: *geleng geleng kepala* Encik A: Do you want to see the pictures I captured just now? Saya: *angguk*...

Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change I like this quote. Especially the last part. People do change. I change, and keep on changing. p/s: jangan sedih ye sayang. You tried your best. At least you did something, at the very least you showed some efforts. Though there might be some lacking in the things you did to make up everything but still, for me you had done well. Berani itu penting. Don't worry too much about the outcome. Now smile, I'm dying to see you smile again. Stay strong. :) Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Babah cakap its all yours. Semua pilihan terletak kat tangan kakak. You are the one who need to make the decision, I'm just assisting you to do it. Ohye, ekceli our conversation goes in BM tapi sebab saya kan budak baru belajar, BI tak mantap so kenalah selalu prektis gedik gedik bajet omputeh kat belog ni.  Keputusan. Semua orang kat dalam dunia ni kena terpaksa wajib buat keputusan dalam hidup masing masing termasuk lah awak yang tengah baca belog ni. Kan? Kan? Barangsiapa yang tak pernah, tepuk dada tanya selera. Kenapa tak pernah? BETULke tak pernah? Nak makan kat tempat mana pon perlukan keputusan yang nyata kan? Ini hal sirius tak leh tipu tipu aa. Oh ok. Berbalik kepada isu sirius. Apabila anda terpaksa memilih dan memutuskan sesuatu perkara apa agaknya yang anda semua buat? Just blindly decide it or what? Here's what I do when I am about to make a decision tak kiralah besar atau kecik 1. Ask for Allah's guidance. Solat istikharah, solat sunat, doa banyak banyak, s...

Pengajaran hidup pertama. Kesian kan fatin afifah ni. Naif. Senang sangat percayakan orang. Perasan melebih. Asal orang buat baik je mulalah menggelabah. Hey diri sendiri, tolonglah faham, tak semua orang fikir macam yang kau fikir. Tak semua orang sama macam kau. Manusia ni rambut sama hitam tapi hati lain lain.  Pengajaran hidup kedua. Today I learn something. Jangan selalu dengar. Jangan selalu mengiyakan. Tetapi sometimes kena jugak jadi the one who talk, jadi orang yang tahu membantah. Jangan terima bulat bulat apa yang orang buat walaupun kekadang kau tak setuju dengan apa yang orang buat tu. Cuba jadi kental walaupun takdelah sekental merong mahawangsa.*tibetibe* Stand up for yourself. Jangan asik fikir 'eh nanti dia terasa', 'eh kesian dia'. Takde orang kesah pasal kau pon yang kau sebuk nak kesah kat orang kenape? So from now on, saya akan menjadi bertambah jahat dari yang sebelumnya. Saya tahu saya yang sebelum ni memang manusia yang jahat but now I want t...

Right after I woke up from a longg napp I spent like at least 3 hours on facebook. Watched some cute videos posted by my friends and also scary-wake-up-call type videos about the earth quake and tsunami kat jepon. The only friend I know yang study kat jepon dah selamat balik so what else should I worry about kan? But then, I cannot keep myself from thinking of this little kid, Nina. How's she? Is she ok? Hope to hear from her dad soon. Harap harap bapak dia upload video as soon as possible. I am dying to have some news from them right nowwwwwww. Hurghhhhh!! Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

beautiful voice. like always.

manusia kalau takde perasaan bukan manusia. Dah ala ala haiwan. Perasaan tu ada banyak, perasaan sayang, perasaan malu, perasaan marah, perasaan sakit, perasaan takut. So kalau takde bendalah tu semua macam mana manusia nak survive? Kan physiology ada cakap, manusia perlukan pain stimulus to keep on surviving. Kalau takde perasaan sakit takkan wujud reflex and bla bla bla. Kalau takde perasaan sayang plak, takkan wujud keturunan manusia kat bumi ni and perasaan takut? Oh itu adalah sangat penting. Kalau takde perasaan takut especially perasaan takut kat Allah sesatlah manusia tu. Terumbang ambing. Akal tu penting, tapi perasaan pon penting so that manusia ni jadi seorang manusia yang lengkap. Kenapa perasaan berubah ubah? Cuba kau fikir apa akan jadi kat manusia kalau perasaan marah tak berubah? Habislah dunia ni. Berperang sana sini. Sebab tu Allah ciptakan akal ntuk control perasaan and perasaan ntuk control akal. Dorang saling lengkap melengkapi. Kalau semua manusia fikir pakai akal...

Sakit hati ngan teksi merah. Tapi tak berani honk cos takut kat Geng Teksi Merah. Hee. Gedik nau. MENYAMPAH.  Eh macam pantun plak. Ah ape ape jelah. Ohye, exam tadi macamm........ bolehla. Harap lulus.  Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Yeah, literally I hate people complaining me wearing all pink. Now I can't breath, no I can't sleep, I'm barely hanging on. Haih. Allah, please.. 3 more months then I'm free to do what I want. Please, let me BE STRONG.  Extremely hate lipas. I can scream my heart out just because of that tiny creature and yeah, that thing really have the ability to ruin my mood.  Am so exhausted and tired. Class was on till 6 pm. Mata dah 95% tertutup tapi tangan still gedik nak update belog. p/s: am so sorry. Saya memang begini. Sangat conservative. I am a kind of person who finds it hard to open up to someone I barely know. Ye betul apa yang kamu cakap, kalau tak open up sekarang sampai bila bila pon takleh buat. I do agree that there's always the first time for everything, but for now let it be inside me saje.  Saya lagi selesa begini. Appreciate your concern anyway and thanks for everything you did just now. :) Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

I don't know what is wrong with my dashboard thingy, everything shuffles and I need to check like thousand times to make sure I was about to post in the correct blog. What is happening? Do you guys having the same problem as me? Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Memandangkan harini adalah hari wanita sedunia so saya ingin mengucapkan selamat hari wanita kepada semua kaum wanita termasuk diri sendiri. Wekekeke. Yeah I know, this is like the 20th entry for today. I'm having serious mental problem right now so just bear with me yeah followers tersayang? Ignore those craps. heheh. Besides, this is my own way to celebrate MY day. Crazy huh? Well todayyyyy I'm happy cos one of the things I'd listed in my to-do list had been fulfilled. It feels damn great and I can feel the awesomeness. Weeehhhu. I feel SUPERIOR. Oh afi, Whatever.  Special attention to the hand and eyes. Haha. Nice one kiddo. Oh by the way, thanks to my dearest kawan alam maya yang paling best forever ever after for those calming words. I owe you thissssssssssssssssssssssssssss much. Thanks dear.  Ok tu je, assalamualaikum