Past Tense

"Semua benda yang kita buat ada tujuan. Kalau takde tujuan, namanya sia sia." That was what mom said to me. Aku faham tujuan aku. Tapi kamu? Hm. Afi!! I really need to stop myself from being involved in things that might hurt me, cut me so deep and turned my life upside down. I will be sitting for 2 professional exams next year so I really need to be extra careful in things I'm about to do.  EXTRA careful. Maybe I need to sleep more. Please Allah, make me sleep more. This insomnia thing is driving me crazeeyy.  p/s: if in any case u have something to tell me please, please tell me now cos u might have no chance to do it later.  Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Reflected upon myself. I found myself struggling and drowning. Lately aku banyak buat benda yang melanggar prinsip hidup aku. Haih. Afi, get a grip of yourself. Just .. know your boundaries.  Allah, pleasee help me. You have the key to everything just tell me how to sort this matter out. Please.  Susah bila jantung macam ni. Berdegup kencang, out of normal rhythm dengan sesuka hati. Jantung, please work synchronously with the brain. Please. Dan jantung, tolongggg belajar sabar. Yang indah tu perlukan kesabaran yang tinggggggggiii. Its not too late to save myself. I just need to be brave. Please pray that I'll be courageous enough to do what I need to do. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Semalam kitorang ada kelas menjahit. Dah lama simpan impian nak belajar jahit baju, so bila dapat jahit menjahit I got very excited. Tak kisahlah jahit kulit manusia pon, asalkan jahit. Muahahahahahahahahaha. Layankan je ye. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

There are so many things going on in my mind lately. Please tell me everything will be just fine. Please. Allah. T_T

Bosan dengan belog. I'm sorry belog. This ain't me. Thanks pokcik gugel Harini puasa, layan kerenah housemate tercinta berbuka kat cyber. ...... Tak tau nak tulis ape. Layan jela video ni. ...........................................................................

So raya dah habis, walaupun jemputan rumah terbuka still ada. But for me, its kind of over, since yesterday. Hm.  Something weird happened today. I suddenly got numerous emails from friends congratulating me on my wedding. Siap ada bagi ecard lagi. Hm. =..= Menusuk kalbu. Bila masa pulaklah aku nak bernikah masyaAllah subhanallah. Sobs. Penat reply email korang. Inilah yang jadi bila maklumat yang tersampai tu kurang tepat eh bukan, memang salah. Fatin arifah weh not fatin afifah. Sabar jelah, haiih. And today sangat tak bernasib baik. Kononnya nak bangun awal dan mulakan hari dengan jogging but hurrrrrr. Keadaan bilik sangat tidak mengizinkan. I ended up lap lantai and iron baju for the whole week. Semangat berkobar nak start off this week kat hospital dan mencoba untuk kesana seawal mungkin kerana hospital serdang adalah bukan parking friendly bagi mereka mereka yang lambat. Then off to Kak Nik's house for Kak Fiqa's suprise baby shower. Baby Kak Fiqa adalah baby sul...

Hm. Few friends invited me to their house untuk beraya dan rumah terbuka. Bukan taknak pergi, naaaakkkkk sangat tapi .. hm. How do I put this eh? My parents, dorang tak biasa dengan anak anak keluar rumah di hari raya beraya di rumah kawan kawan. And my parents, dorang sangaaaat tak biasa biar aku drive kat kampung halaman EXCEPT pegi hantar or amek syafiqah dari skolah or any emergencies yang tak dapat dielakkan. Selebihnya, hm .. gigit jari je.  Macam haritu, aku nak keluar kejaaaaap je pegi beli tudung, memang konfem berani potong jari tak sampai sejam mama bagi macam, macam, macammmmmm alasan. Kedai tutup lah -.-, jalan jemm lah -..- itu lah inilah. Tapi aku buat buat tak dengar je sebab memang sangat memerlukan tudung dek kerana aku lupa nak bawak balik tudung hitam serbaguna itu. Baru beberapa menet dijalanan mama dah kol tanya ada kat mana bla bla. Hm. Selama third year aku ke manjung ke terendak ke situ ke sini drive sendiri mama babah takde plak nak bising bising tapi...

1/3 day tidur, 1/3 day pergi beli barang, 1/3 day mengemas. Plan asal before cuti memang nak balik Putra hari Jumaat, tapi bila sampai rumah je Afiq cakap, 'eh jom balik Sabtu'. Tiba tiba aku bersetuju makanya plan tertuka kepada balik hari Sabtu. Pong pang pong pang ke sana ke mari itu ini, tiba tiba aku decide nak balik Ahad. Pastu something slapping my face cakap 'eh kau tak sedar ke keesokan hari ahad ialah isnin??' Tsk. Tak boleh. Ahad sangat takboleh. Plus itu itu dan itu, oh no. Ahad ku patut diselamatkan. Dan akhirnya perkara ini dibicarakan di mahkamah yang diketuai hakim Tuan Mohd Azmi dan beliau memutuskan, fatin afifah, afiq muzzammil dan abdul hasif balik ke KL pada esok hari. Muktamad. Tiada unsur rayuan dibenarkan, makanya tsk, sobs dan y..e..a..y!   Seminggu kat rumah, macam sehari. Sekejap je masa berlalu. Tapi aku puas hati cos everyday was filled with activities and things. Maka aku adalah tidak membuang masa except for the time...

Internet da exceed its capacity. Lembab semacam je. Ini konfem kerja afiq. Download apebenda tah tu. Haish.  Hm. Tadi ada kawan tanya kalau kena cucuk intramuscular-ly batal ke tak puasa dia, cos she's fasting today. Puasa enam katanya. Jawapannye .. tara. Tak batal puasa. Sila jangan bukak pose dulu ye. "Eh kenapa tak batal pulak, kan ke cucuk jarum masuk dalam badan so, tu dah kira masukkan something dalam liang bla bla". Hujahnye, ubat yang dicucuk tu mengenyangkan ke? Ada rasa lazat or nikmat after kena cucuk except for the after effect yang menghilangkan kesakitan? Takde kan? So tak batal lah puasa.  Aku ni sebenarnya bukanlah alim ulamak yang patut korang tanya soalan macam macam cos some of it, aku tau hukumnya cuma aku tak reti camne nak explain. So kalau korang rasa ragu ragu, apa kata korang try tanya ustaz ustazah yang ada exposure to medical thingies. Bukan ape, some of the ustaz ustazah ni kadang kadang tak faham sangat certain procedures so the...

I'm sorry Maroon 5. I like this version more than yours. Sincerely, Afi. :D p/s: Prison Break sampai season 4 je ade. heroes takdop. :) p/s/s: kawan2 yg hantar text msg, sorry lah takleh reply. malas nak membeli kredit. kredit habis sbb hntr msg raya. wekeke. whatsapp blh, viber blh, bbm pon blh. text msg je xleh.  p/s/s/s: sesape yang hanto komen pakai nama anon maupun komen berunsur 18sg makanya komen komen itu takkan di approve. Sekian.

Harini tunggu tetamu datang rumah je. Tak keluar langsung. Tolong mama masak nasi impit for soto esok, tolong rasa kabsah ayam, pastu yang selebihnya, tolong tengok dan tolong makan. Rasa macam berat dah naik sangat dah ni. Macam pau dah muka aku, -.- Hm. Tengah tengah duk melangut tetibe mama kasi aku surat.  Senyum lebar lah cik fatin afifah. Dalam otak aku fikir kad raya kad raya oh kad raya. Lamanya tak dapat kad raya. Pastu duk terfikir fikir sape lah yang rajin sangat nak menghantar kad raya bagai. Sekali bila dah bukak ini yang aku dapat Kad undangan majlis kahwin. Ohhhhhhhh. Kecewa? Taklah. Tak kecewa. Tumpang bahagiaaa. Tahniah Anis, tahniah Syakirah!! :D Aku: Ma, kakak dapat kad kawen Mama: Ok. Aku: Ma, tarikh tu Rabu ngan Jumaat (sebelah pengantin perempuan, yang kat gambar tu both yang sebelah pihak lelaki) Mama: Ok Aku: Ma, pegi eh? Mama: ....... (5 minit adela kot mama fikir) tapi esok sape nak tolong mama? Babah keje. Aku: Jumaat?...

Jangan ditanya kemana aku pergi. Muehehehe. Most of the time hanyalah aktiviti membayar sleep debt. Bangun pagi dahlah lambat, pastu dalam kereta asyik tidur je. Sampai rumah Tok Wok pon boleh aku terlelap kejap kat sofa. Mengantuk, plus geram dengan baju raya yang tetibe oversize dah jadi macam baju pinjam. Stress.  Like always, takde sangat pon gambar raya kami anak beranak. Ni pon dah kire rajin dah ni aku menangkap gambar. Semuanya terhasil dikala mata mengantuk dan sengaja menyibukkan diri cover menguap. Wekeke.  Malam raya; mercun; bunga api; at Tok Nik's. Alhamdulillah, kaki tangan semorang still intact.  Thaqifah Mumtazah. Acik's newborn baby girl. Cumelll sangat, tapi disebabkan cuaca yang begitu panas makanya ruam ruam kelihatan dipipi si kecik.  Babah angah abam, at Tok Wok's Entah ape la dorang duk tengok tu. Ini kat rumah Tok Ngoh kot. At Tok Nik's. Mengira polka dots di baju akibat mengantuk. Pantai Teluk Lipat, OTW pe...

First raya was not really awesome. Exhausted sebab takboleh tidur dan wheezing! Yes, tahun ini juga. Ujian dipagi raya, sobs oh plus kena marah sebab bangun lambat, sobs sobs. Nevermind. Pertanyaan paling femes harini ialah 'eh, berapa umur awok?' and jawapan aku of course lah RAHSIA. Pastu semua duk stress. Haha. Sebenarnye aku jawab macamtu dengan harapan dapatlah duit raya tapi yeee, mereka adalah lebih cekap. No duit raya for orang tua. Sigh. After bangun tidur di malam masih muda aku cari mama babah. Kol babah asking for his location and guess what, jawapannya RAHSIA. Ouh that really hit me hard. Balasan mungkin sebab harini asyik berahsia, kehkeh. Malam hari raya pertama dihabiskan kat twitter. Nak tengok cite raya pon dah takde mood. Lungs sangat memprotes diri sendiri. Sobs. Taksabar nak balik Dungun lagi esok. Klah, tu je. Selamat Hari Raya semua! - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Dan mereka adalah pulangan sabar dan operasi menahan nafsu pada hari Rabu. Scrub. Tak sabar nak masuk specialty postings! :D Punca dipaksa ke Closing Caremony Iftar. Thanks to Hawa yang memaksa aku jawab quiz panjang amaaat dan menguji ketahanan fizikal itu. 3 ekor binatang pelik yang sebuk buat muka comel nak ikut syafiqah balik beraya kat kampung. NO NO. Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

Sorry for the explosion of emotion in previous entry. I was very homesick, devastated and .. kurang sabar back then. Hm. Well moving on, my very first clinical posting for this year is Orthopedics, and I can say that I will enjoy this posting so much by looking at this very first week.  And that image, I got from pokcik gugel, as always. Our schedule was altered on the first day of posting. *grin*. Prof Khairuddin was being oh so very nice by rescheduling the slots on Friday to days before so that we can go back on Thursday! Yeay. Though our classes seems quite pack, starting at 8 am and ending at 7 pm but nahh. That never happened pon. The earliest class we had on this few days was yeah, at 8 am and most of it ended at 6 pm. An hour early and that one hour was very significant as that one hour determined my activity for the night, which was shockingly, tertidur dengan awalnye. Yeay to my biological clock and for the first time in this week, I slept for 6 hours. ...

................................................................................................................................................................... Hurrrrr. Kenapelah kenapelah kenapelahhhhhhh. Mood sangat perempuan hampir menopause dengan jadual kelas minggu ini. Whyyyy laaahhh. Are you kidding me??? On Friday pon kelas sampai tujuh? Taknak bagi aku balik raya ke ape ni? Rawrrr.  Jiran sebelah, sila berhenti karok lagu raya. Jiran atas, sila berhenti baling mercun ke bawah. Tolonglah faham perasaan kitorang yang merana dan menderita ini. I miss home. BADLY. sumber: pokcik gugel.

I was browsing thru my playlist that I created like 3 years ago and I found this song. Actually this wasn't the right video cos the other one agak kurang sesuai di post disini due to some scenes yang mencemarkan, so this one will do. Don't really understand the lyrics except for the English part, but I liked this song, and still do. Ok tu je, 

Sobs. Ahmad & Fizi buat aku sediiiiiih. Aku tak balik rumah lagi sepanjang bulan Ramadhan ni. Acane?? Sobs sobs sobs. *hingus meleleh*  p/s: aesha, I tried to reach you since yesterday tapi tak dapat dapat. In case you drop by, I just want to say I'm sorry to hear about ur husband. Be strong. :')

And I think I slowly go insane .. These past few days had been very tiring and hectic for all of us. With the research proposal thingies, presentations and presentations. Though I'm not the one who were presenting our proposal but I'm the one who prepared the slides and edit everything. Editing really fits me eh? Hu. For this past few days I am having problems with my appetite and sleeping habit. Salah makan je muntah, makan banyak muntah, makan sikit pon muntah. And it is so hard to choose food that can turn on my taste buds. Dugaan betul. My brain activity also is very very very hyperactive. Nak tidur adalah sangat susah, macam nak berperang dah lagaknye. Bersiap itu ini. I only managed to enter my deep sleep state after like hours of trying. Paling lama aku boleh lelap adalah 2 jam sahaja and mann that really drives me crazy. I'm a homo sapien who won't function properly when I don't get enough sleep and thaaatt really is troublesome. Hurr. Please pray I can rest...

Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

I .. am a kind of person who won't give much attention to things I'm not interested in. And sometimes, I .. didn't really give special attention to things I am very interested in. If somehow, you managed to get my full attention, then you must be something that I am very .. intensely .. madly.. interested in.  When my interest button is turned on, nothing can seem to stop me. Even the enormous or obvious negative or bad or foul details about you shall be withdrawn from my sight, fully. I .. am a kind of person who will keep on trying and stop only when I can prove myself that there is no way to get there, really. Just so you know .. that's me.  Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

5 days of holidays dah habis. Not really holidays but free from any classes is considered holidays already, though we need to finish the last lines for power point presentation and proposal which is quite a headache for me. But overall its great. As long as I can stay in my room, at my private workplace I'm happy enough.  And within this 5 days of holidays we managed to join certain programs organized by the seniors and people around Putrajaya. One of it is Grand Iftar by Hidayah Centre in collaboration with IKRAM at Dewan Sri Siantan, Majlis Perbadanan Putrajaya.  Actually me and Farah, we had been eyeing this poster for like 2 weeks back tapi setelah dimaklumkan ini adalah program kutipan derma in which the cheapest table for 10 is RM1000 makanya, terpaksalah kami lupakan sahaja hasrat berprogram bersama Loo Jo Yee dan Sham Kamikaze. Mahal sangat lah untuk students seperti kami sobs sobs. But on the day of the event, Syifaa and Feeyah called and tanya whether...

Ok tu je, assalamualaikum

The answer is attitude and passion, dik. You don't have to be a genius to become a doctor. And I don't think a genius can stand being in this medical field cos there are too much of 'misteri nusantara' and illogical facts. We even have a medical term for unexplained cause, idiopathic. Some lecturers used to tell us idiopathic stands for idiot + pathetic = idiopathic.Well, as far as I'm concerned geniuses tend to think a lot that was why they usually take up other courses which involve more thinking and logics. Medical students were taught how to think, trust me we had this session called "Thinking and Thought Skill" for like hours, just to make us think. Heheh.  Good attitude. That is affective domain for CUCMS students. You have to have good attitude to be a doctor. Good attitude ni macam wajib. Ye, wajib. Good attitude bermaksud anda haruslah berdisiplin, bertanggungjawab, bersikap simpati, sabar dan lain lain. You have to portray the best side of y...

Its 14 th Ramadhan already. MasyaAllah, how time flies. We had gone through almost half of this blessed month and I didn’t khatam al-Quran as yet. I envy my colleagues who had fantastically in their round 2 of reciting the holy Quran. How do you guys manage to do that, seriously? Hm. Yesterday was the registration day for first year students. One of them was the daughter of our beloved naqibah, Anisah. Watching them the juniors gathering at some places during orientation brings some joy to me personally. May Allah let us be the instruments of his mercy, InsyaAllah. And to add the joy of being a student of CUCMS who has severe SMS, (don’t ask me what SMS stands for, you don’t want to know trust me, cos its contagious!) our medical school has finally owns a luxurious hostel. Cantik amat! Juniors, sila hargai apa yang korang ada cos we didn’t have that privilege. We had to live in a non-healthy environment which is full of foreigners from different country and we were a cluster of ...

Calling all my friends from all over KL, Cyberjaya, Putrajaya! Mari kawan kawan kita ber Qiam di masjid Putrajaya. Program bermula harini, 3/8/12 jam 6.30pm. Berbuka, bertarawih, ber Qiam, dan bersahur di masjid Putrajaya. Bring all your friends and you won't regret the time spent here no way. I miss the old days. Tahun lepas dah terlepas peluang keemasan ini. I tell you what, Qiam kat Masjid Putrajaya is a must when it comes to Ramadhan. You'll know why I said this only when you experience it yourself.  No words can describe how i really hope that you can spare some time and join us. Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan. Amiin :) Ok tu je, assalamualaikum